Construction jokes
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
I fucked a wall.
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
Why can't gay men be handymen?
Because they'll be caulk fighting on the job.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Bob the builder.