Comparison jokes

What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?

Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.

I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.

what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?

one has a point.

Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

The twin towers are like water bottles.

It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.

What do emo kids and bats have in common?

They both hang from trees.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?

They both can crash down.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.

How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?

They both get paid to eat 200 balls!

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?

You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.