Comparison jokes
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.