Comparison jokes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.