Comparison jokes

What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?

They always come back.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

The Toaster: The best bath bomb!

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.

Dirty bitch!

Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

Better than Elanga?

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.

What is the similarity between orphans and apples?

They both get thrown out.

What does my arm have in common with paper?

They both can be cut.

What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭

Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!

Me: Just like me.

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.