Comparison jokes
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.