Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.