Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.