Comparison jokes
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
Me verses my mother
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.