Comparison jokes
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.