Comparison jokes
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Memes
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.