Comparison jokes
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
AOT > ur fav anime.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.