Comparison jokes
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
Yo hairline is bigger than yo mama's booty.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
You're so short, Aiden looked tall.