Comparison jokes
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!