Comparison jokes
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!
Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!
Yo mama is so fat that she's bigger than the cinematic Marvel Universe.
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"