Comparison

Comparison jokes

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?

Brain cells make up their mind.

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"

"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.

So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"