Comparison jokes
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
I got jealous when my phone died.
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.