Comparison jokes
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.