Comparison jokes
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.