Comparison jokes
God, youβre having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them donβt work out.
Your forehead is so big you look like MegaMind.
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
Whatβs the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?