Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Comparison Jokes
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them donβt work out.
Your forehead is so big you look like MegaMind.
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
Whatβs the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
