Communications jokes
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
How do rappers communicate underwater?
They drop some sick flow-tation.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
"Hey Gwen, I'm back."
-Dev
"It's been so long they unblocked it!"
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!