Communications jokes
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
How do rappers communicate underwater?
They drop some sick flow-tation.
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Community talk
⚠ Announcement ⚠ Verbal shutdowns Verbal shutdowns can look different for different people, and mine can range a lot depending on how overwhelmed I am. I have 5 ranges. 1- I can talk a little bit, but not much; I just go very quiet. 2-I can't talk, but I can type, or use emojis, or nod/shake my head. 3-I can't talk, but I can use emojis, a few typed words, or typed song lyrics. 4-I can't talk, but I can only use e… Read more
Guys I want to announce something. Sometimes I get very overwheled, and I get a verbal shutdown. I cant speak, its to hard. I can usually type, but when i reply with "." or js "m" or soemthing really small, its a verbal shut down. I am okay i just need a discrtion or maybe a little bit to myself. its like my brain is saying to much input, i need to reduce output. Communication awlays comes back after ive calmed down or i feel better. just lyk and look out for it. So if i go silet on call, or type like very small, im okay, just overwheled and my brain shurts down paths of cummication.
Maybe im not doing as good as i thought? Maybe i am enough i wonder if I am , wide at night can't sleep been few days? Im in need of something I dont know what it is ? Maybe its money or maybe food or communication with close ones? Maybe i am enough to them ? Maybe im not? Wether I cry for no reason or cry for a reason it feels the same? Wether I want to get held just close ? Why am I ranting?I dont even know? Are y… Read more