Comedy jokes
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
"Black midget porn is in 911."
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday