Comedy jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
More jokes.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."