Comedy jokes

I bet you like men!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ididap!

Ididapoo!!

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Q: Get up for a chair joke!

A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

Who wants to laugh about life with me?

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

More jokes.

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."