Comedy jokes
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
Funny.
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
This page is for fat jokes, right? Well, I am breaking the mold! Yo Mama so fat! That's not a Joke it's True.
P.S. If your mom is actually fat, then I am sorry that I don't care.
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
Deez nutz!
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.