Comedy jokes
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.
Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.