Comedy jokes
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"? They never get old.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
I love silly jokes.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
Orphans got me like: 😂
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere.
Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.