You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
What comes after 69?
Period.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
