Comedy jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
Why?
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
ElectroBOOM is a SHOCKING YouTuber! (I can't believe he is still alive!)
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Wow, no SP jokes?
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.