Comedy jokes

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Jokes are rather funny.

Why?

The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!

Why don't paralyzed people laugh?

They hate stand-up comedy.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

My name is Ya.

Ya who?

Yahooooo!!!

It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.

Dez nuts!

Goofy ahh jokes below.

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!