Comedy

Comedy jokes

Vegetable

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

Sans

Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?

Because a SANSET is happening.

Chicken

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

Perspective

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Ketchup

The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!

Child

A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"

BA DUM TSS

Baseball

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

Parent

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.

Orphan

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

Shark

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

Head

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.