Comedy jokes
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
You might think these jokes are plane.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”