Comedy jokes

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?

I was gonna make a gay joke but fuck it.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:

Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

Wow, no SP jokes?

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

Orphans got me like: 😂

Reese's.

Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?

Because a SANSET is happening.

It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!