Comedy jokes
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
I was gonna make a gay joke but fuck it.
Orphans got me like: 😂
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joe.
Joe who?
Jo Mama!
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
Wow, no SP jokes?
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"