Comedy jokes
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
You might think these jokes are plane.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
Why does this category seem to have the most retold and recycled jokes on this website?
Stop! Stop the orphan jokers!
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.