Comedy

Comedy jokes

Orphan

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

Goat

What do you call a fantastic goat?

Goatastic! So funny please like.

Difference

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

Child

How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.

Toilet

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Difference

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

Nut

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

Sally

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

Pencil

Why did Johnny drop his pencil?

To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊