Comedy jokes

Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?

He didn't have a good counter act!

I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

I should probably stop making emo jokes.

They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

"Black midget porn is in 911."

Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.

How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.

What do you call a fantastic goat?

Goatastic! So funny please like.

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?

Durrrrrrrr.

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

What's red and runs up your leg?

A homesick abortion.