I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
Comedy Jokes
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
