Comedy jokes
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
I have an account at the website Memedroid.
My name is J0K35FromWJE.
Feel free to follow me, and I WILL upload to Memedroid (I might not upload daily).
I will still make jokes here jlyk (just letting you know).
Ok here's your joke now...
What did one pizza say to the other when they were in bed?
"Can I have a pizza that ass?"
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
Me. I am the worst joke ever.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
What makes a skeleton laugh?
When you tickle his funny bone with a skele-TON of jokes!
Heh.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.