Come jokes

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

Bored come talk v rah.

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

What did the one tower say to the other?

"Here comes the airplane!"

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

What's the difference between my father and acne?

Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she got hit by a bus.