Come jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?

Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.

What comes after 611? 711.

What comes after that? 811.

What comes after that? George W. Bush.

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

Mike, ID is coming tonight.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.