Come jokes

What did the one tower say to the other?

"Here comes the airplane!"

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."