Come jokes

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.

Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!

What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?

Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

"No, it's 26."

"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

"You're missing one more."

"I'll give you the D later."

"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?

Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

What comes after 611? 711.

What comes after that? 811.

What comes after that? George W. Bush.

Mike, ID is coming tonight.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.

I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.

I'm going to leave now, so bye.