Come jokes

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.

I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.

I'm going to leave now, so bye.

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!

Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!

What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?