Come jokes

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!

Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.

I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.

I'm going to leave now, so bye.

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.

Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!

What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?

Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

"No, it's 26."

"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

"You're missing one more."

"I'll give you the D later."

"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.