Come jokes

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Lady: I am going to come to your house.

Man: Ok.

An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.

Man: You are going to cum to my house!

And then he fucks her.

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.

What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?

Christmas!

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

Where do otters come from? Otter space.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

Why do orphans play with boomerangs?

Because they come back.

The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.

There's a blind hooker in town.

She never sees anyone coming.

I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.

Unfortunately, he couldn't come.

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?