Come jokes
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.
Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.
PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.
Thank you.
Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?
Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"