Come jokes

People who are annoying. There are two of them.

1. Capet.

2. Akeld.

The winner is "Akeld," although Jordan Calerendiá comes in with a tie. Yah! Not really!

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”

And vanished.

Dad: You're adopted.

Son: Where are my real parents?

Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.

How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?

Because she got hit by a bus.

During the Wintery Wackiness Wars!

A Soviet Sergeant, stationed stilly near a sloped summit with his silly soldiers!

Then a shout sails from the tippy-top: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a hundred heroic Honchos!"

The Kommandant's kerfuffle commences, commanding a caravan of one hundred comrades to conquer the crest!

Nifty navigation notes nil, the nasty news nabs many! After an Hour, hush descends. The high voice hollers, "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a thousand heroic Honchos!"

Kommander fumes, forcing a further flurry, flinging one thousand fine fellows skyward!

Nearly two hours now and the noisy nuisance ceases, then the shouting starts: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures ten thousand heroic Honchos!"

The Kommandant kaput! Ten thousand troopers take the trek, taking tanks, trundling skyward, to take the terrain!

Four fearsome, fretful hours then a soldier in tatters comes tumbling, talking: "Stop sending up soldiers, sir! There's two Finns fighting fiercely!"

A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.

One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"

The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."

The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"

The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."

Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"

The not so smart Indian replies,

"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Maishah, the poo comes from an old bathroom in a country starting with B.

Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

I like my cigars like I like my women:

Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.

American: I've never shot a gun.

African: That's the first coming from an American!

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.

I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑

I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

You're so fat, when you say the n-word, boogers come out.

Guys, I am Aly's friend, Ava. Come over here.