Hell in Greek Times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
Ice cold coffee? Coll beans!
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'? -Wassaaaa....B
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone"
What do you call a necrophilic gangbang Cracking open a cold one with the boys
Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
I once heard my dad shout I'm going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot
what do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? a numb skull! -sans
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
why do Indians hate snow
because its white and all over there land
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliac have in common? They both like cracking open a cold one
Expectation: Brr, I’m cold! Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!
Reality: Brr, I’m cold! Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder
