What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
How does a penguin build a house? **Igloos it together.**
