Cold Jokes

Why can't you get water in the North Pole? Because there is no well

i drip when you take me in the mouth what am i ? ice cream

what can u catch but not throw? ................................... . . . ... ........... .................. ....... ... . . ... .. .... ................. Ook. a cold!

Someone said to me when it was winter it time for you to “chill out” I was like 👁👄👁

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter? Come close and i’ll knock you out cold

why was the mexican scared of cold water It might turn into ICE

The cold winter night there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men where gay but they did not know. Fili: Fili. Kili: And Kili. Fili and Kili: At your service. Kili: You must be Mr. Baggins. Bilbo: No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house. Kili: What?! Has it been canceled? Fili: No one told us. Bilbo: Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled. Kili: That’s a relief. Fili: Careful with these, I just had them sharpened. Kili: It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself? Bilbo: Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that? Dwalin: Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand. Kili: Mr. Dwalin. Balin: Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in. Bilbo: Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste! One of the Dwarves: Get off, you big lump!

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. it was a bar seat. they where able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it

Priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube... priest asks what are you guys doing the boys answer the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on

How do you know if a snowman is a gril or a boy?

A:snow balls

why was the stadium so cold? Because of all its fans!

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David's father had three

Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank!

Why do bees stay in the hive during winter...

...s'warm

I picked up a document and I started to feel cold. I looked down at the document and it read DRAFT.

"Knock Knock..." "Who's There?" "Kenya" "Kenya who?" "KENYA OPEN THE DO ITS FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"

What do you call a rapper with a COLD?

Lil Sneezy

I caught a cold, Mary earps caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane

Brrr it's fucking cold outside aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh how about the latest phone! Who me? Oh I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!