Cold jokes
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.