Cold

Cold jokes

Letter

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.

Draft

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Tower

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.

Door

"Knock Knock..."

"Who's There?"

"Kenya"

"Kenya who?"

"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"

Christmas

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Smoothie

What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?

A baby smoothie.

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  • People

    What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.

    Penguin

    There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.

    Worm

    I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

    About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

    I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

    Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

    Corner

    If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.