Clothing jokes
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Where do Sith get their clothes?
At the Darth Maul!
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.