Clothing jokes
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Where do Sith get their clothes?
At the Darth Maul!
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.