Clothing jokes
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.