Clothing jokes
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.