Clothing jokes
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
"Dick me down shorts."
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.