children's jokes
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!