children's jokes
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.