children's jokes
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.