Children jokes
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.