Child jokes
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Ur adopted.
Why can't orphans play rounders?
Because they don't know where home is.
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?
Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)