Child jokes
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?
Because they return eventually.
Memes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Why can't orphans play rounders?
Because they don't know where home is.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.