Child jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Why can't orphans play rounders?
Because they don't know where home is.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Memes
me when my mom wakes me up!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"