Child jokes
Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?
Because they return eventually.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
Memes
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Heh, stupid orphan.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.