Child jokes

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a bus.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of toddlers.