Child jokes

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of toddlers.

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.

Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?

Because they have no one to tell them off.

What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"

Mum: Why are roses red?

Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.

Mum: I made you.

I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

What do you call an orphan?

A bootysnagger45.