
Child jokes
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
