Child jokes
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
children?
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"