Child jokes
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
What did the mom say to the baby?
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
What do you call an orphan being kidnapped?
A surprise adoption!!
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.