Child jokes

What’s an orphan's favorite beer?

Foster's.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.

What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...

I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Why can’t an orphan make a joke?

Dad jokes.

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"

What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.