Child jokes
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.