Child jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."