Child jokes
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t go home.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.