Child jokes
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.