Child jokes

If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

Why is it okay to hit orphans?

It's not like they can tell their parents.

Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.