Child jokes

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"

Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?

The second-hand book was loved once.

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?

Answer: A home.

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

Why is it bad to climb a tree?

You might fall on an orphan! 🫥

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they can't access the home screen.

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.