Child jokes
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
ahhhhhh
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't run home.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.