Child jokes
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Happy Family.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.