What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6 year old in the trunk of my car.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported
The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
1 like = 1 Ukrainian child sent to Russia
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say open wide for the delicious plane.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child
My Mom said: I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied. Well i said: Have you seen her?
i bet when your mom first saw you she said oh my god this aint my child my child would look amazing
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery in an anti vax kid? A. Nothing they both die at ten
kid:dad what happen to the kid napper. dad:he had a nap Kid:where is he now dad:HELL
today i saw my son lick out a tub of butter, i told him to make a sandwitch without butter for a week (as a punishment) he said 'ok' and licked the bread. 'it's really easy to spread' he said. LOL!
One day there were 3 people a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born that is why she was named rose. Then the second child walked up and yelled ahhhhhh and the mom said shutup billy goat.
so my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child i was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me i was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friends uncle killed my dad . the kid was never seen again . her name was Madeleine McCann i think im the only one who knows where she is but overall the head from the hooker was good
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish so he started to yell out lil fishy lil fishy lil fishy they called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt
What has kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common? They will never grow up.
What do you call and Orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares
What does the child with no hands got for christmas? Unknown he hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in new york got for christmas? Hypothermia.
i rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick and i was like that log had a child.
Once There was a minecraft child molester on the minecraft facebook. He asks a kid his age. the kid blocks him.
when your wife gets pregnet and you dont want a kid just come on down to momma mias pizzareia and abortion clinic!
