Child jokes
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.