Child jokes
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
Memes
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
What is an orphan’s least favorite children’s game?
House.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.