Child jokes

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

Why is it okay to hit orphans?

It's not like they can tell their parents.

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

Why is it bad to climb a tree?

You might fall on an orphan! 🫥

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they can't access the home screen.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

"Shut up and leave the bedroom."

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

What do you call a child version of Batman?

The Raped Crusader.

Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂