Child jokes
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What’s an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can't find home!
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't run home.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.