Child Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Mum finds out child cheats in math test. Mom says " there is no cheating in this house". Child " then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night? "

where cant orphans park

parent child

The mom and left the child because they were famous and rich like rich monkeys

I don't got free candy. It costs child support.

I asked a child where were there parents they started to cry I laughed and walked out of an orphanage

Orphan: I finally have a father! God: And who is that? Orphan: You! God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me. Orphan: :l

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah.. you look fat in every dress

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

my kid runs in to day to tell me that he found a floating cow but when he got me to come and see all i saw was a pinata with a tail and white spots such a stuipid child so after that i gave him a nice refeshing drink from the tolit and a few of those choclet sprincles. (: in such a good parent...

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey is dad late to pick you up again? Child: No mum. Dad is here but he is talking about me to the Mrs Lili the math teacher Mom: Can you here them? Child: I think... they are watching a good movie. Mom: Why do you think that? Child: Because I keep hearing this HOLDS ONTO PHONE AND clap, clap, clap

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

why does aaron cry at night his alcoholic father beats him

Why did lil timmy drop his lollies

(He was hit by a train

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

The 6 year old in the trunk of my car.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported

The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

today i saw my son lick out a tub of butter, i told him to make a sandwitch without butter for a week (as a punishment) he said 'ok' and licked the bread. 'it's really easy to spread' he said. LOL!