Child jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What do you call a reverse exorcism?
It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of toddlers.
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.