What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
Child Jokes
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?
"My bum hurts."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
