Child jokes
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because I can’t hit a home run. 💀💀💀
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?
There's a home to go back to.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.