Child

Child jokes

Adoption

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

Wife

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Tub

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

Memes

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Name

How do Asian people name their children?

They throw a pan down the stairs.

What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because I can’t hit a home run. 💀💀💀

Dress

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

Orphan

If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Orphan

What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?

There's a home to go back to.

Orphanage

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

Orphan

Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.

Kid

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

Orphan

I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.