Child jokes

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

Addison Banks Age (8)

"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"

Do you know why orphans don't have parents?

Because no one raised you.

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

What's the same about bins and orphans? They get dumped.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't go home.

Why can't orphans play paintball?

Because they don't have parent supervision.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.

What is an orphan versus orphan competition?

Who will get adopted first?

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.

I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.

What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?

Homecoming.

Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.

What do you call a child with no family?

Names.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never get a home run. 😭

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t run home.