Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
Chess Jokes
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Chess board White: right Black: left Yellow: invading
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Why can't Biden play chess?
Because he doesn't have the towers.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
Two towers.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
