Chemistry jokes
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Friends who can't speak german always ask why my passwort is 19275716817...
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.