Chemistry jokes
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Memes
Friends who can't speak german always ask why my passwort is 19275716817...
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.
HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.