Celebrity jokes
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Why was the egg runny? Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
Suck my dick!
(Ron Jeremy)
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?
To count his STACKS of CASH!
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.