Celebrity jokes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
"Hee hee touch my pp."
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂