Celebrity jokes

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!

Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?

A: Because knives don't have barrels.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

What's red and got makeup all over?

A Bill Cosby victim.

Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?

For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!

How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?

Driving under the influencer.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?

Innocent.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

What's the most horrifying video in the world?

Logan Paul vlogs.

An orphan finds a genie.

Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."

Genie: "Of course."

Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."

Genie: "Done."

Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"

Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"

What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:

The best thing they did was a wall.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.

How did Princess Diana cross the road?

Through the windshield!