Celebrity jokes
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
Why didn’t the orphan celebrate their birthday?
Because they didn’t have a mom to birth them.
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady... but he can’t stand up ☹️
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.