Celebrity jokes
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
Why is he sooo dam fineee?
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Justin Bieber
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.