Celebrity jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.

What does Michael Jackson like?

Teabags.

Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.

Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"

Poettschke: "Please get away from me."

Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.

How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.

Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.

That's why he married Courtney Love.

Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.

You will find Taylor Swift on the streets before you find your hairline.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.

What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?

Innocent.

What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?

Driving under the influencer.

Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."