Celebrity jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.
That's why he married Courtney Love.
You will find Taylor Swift on the streets before you find your hairline.
What do you call a singer who can't make a song?
Taylor Swift.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.