Celebrity jokes
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Memes
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.