Celebrity

Celebrity jokes

Lamp

What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!

Michael Jackson

Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.

Chocolate

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.

Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

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  • People

    I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"

    Michael Jackson

    You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

    It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

    Crack

    Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

    Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

    The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

    The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

    The dad then dies in a car crash.

    Vodka

    A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"

    Michael Jackson

    What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

    Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

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  • Michael Jackson

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

    One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.

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  • Child

    What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?

    The Jackson 4.

    Song

    What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?

    "Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."

    Word

    What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."