Celebrity jokes
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
Memes
What did death say during a helicopter crash?
KOBE!
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.